如何寫出優秀的Personal Statement?

留學申請(碩士),自傳(PS)

1

也許你已經開始準備大學申請,馬上就遇到了瓶頸。高中成績單和推薦信都準備好了,SAT的成績也快要拿到了,然而,申請截止時間迫在眉睫,你的個人陳述(Personal Statement)卻還沒有完成。

 但是不用擔心!

因為Wordvice在每個留學申請旺季都會編修數千篇的文章,我們從中看過許多非常優秀(當然也有很差的)大學申請題。本篇文章將告訴你如何寫出最適合你的個人陳述(Personal Statement),其中更包括成功的大學申請個人陳述的解析和範例。讓我們一起看下去吧!

 以下是本篇文章欲探討的重點: 

  • 什麼是個人陳述(Personal Statement)?
  • 個人陳述(Personal Statement)對大學申請有多重要?
  • 為什麼大學申請需要個人陳述(Personal Statement)?
  • 出色的個人陳述(Personal Statement)範例
  • 個人陳述(Personal Statement)的範例與解析
  • 透過英文編修校對服務改善你的個人陳述(Personal Statement)

 

什麼是個人陳述(Personal Statement)?

大學個人陳述(Personal Statement)是大學申請的關鍵,也是招生委員審視文件中非常重視的部分,這是一個讓高中生們在申請大學時可以用自己的方式展現個人魅力的機會。

個人陳述(Personal Statement)不同於SAT成績和在校成績,後兩者更為標準化。然而,推薦信雖然很多部分會和個人陳述重複,但推薦信是經由推薦人撰寫的。

撰寫一份有重點且有效的個人陳述(Personal Statement)主要有三個功用:

 1. 替作者個人和學術背景提供了廣泛且全面的見解

最後,你的學歷,個人特質,甚至專業背景可能成為大學錄取你的關鍵因素。但是個人陳述(Personal Statement)和履歷或簡歷(Resume or CV)有著非常大的差異

 2. 能夠更全面的展現你的目標給招生委員們

一篇好的個人陳述(Personal Statement)必須呈現出你的背景與大學課程和目標之間的關係, 同時你帶來的技能,資源和背景,將如何與你的學校輪廓相互一致。在商業世界中,這被稱為“vertical alignment”。

換句話說,撰寫自己的背景知識和想完成的工作如何產生連結能夠使你在其他的大學申請者中脫穎而出。你的背景能幫助你成功!

 3. 回答特定問題  

通常,大學申請會在你申請特定的課程時,針對此提出特定的問題。例如,申請大學商學院課程將需要回答與申請表演藝術課程不同的問題。

因此,請確保不僅要研究目標大學的概況,還要研究該學科的特定大學專業和教授。我們在下面兩個成功的個人陳述(Personal Statement)範例中說明了這個要點!

2規劃,制定和撰寫完美的留學申請文書。 

個人陳述(Personal Statement)對大學申請有多重要?

COVID-19疫情的關係SAT/ ACT成績的重要性已經降低  

 Common App宣布將在2020-2021年招生季包含有關COVID-19的指定申請題題目。結果,學生們爭先恐後地想出如何在大學申請題中撰寫有關COVID-19的文章

甚至有更多證據顯示,大學個人申請題正悄悄地成為留學申請中最重要的一個部分。根據CBS新聞報導

越來越多的美國大學在審核的過程中捨棄了ACT和SAT成績。由於COVID-19導致制式考試取消,

所謂的“盲測運動”在今年蠢蠢欲動。

此外,近期一個新的規定公布,加州大學的公立學校系統 (the University of California public school system)在審核過程中不能再將SAT / ACT分數納入考量。 顯而易見,制式考試的末日已經指日可待,這同時意味著申請題變得越來越重要。

 

為什麼大學申請需要個人陳述(Personal Statement)?

為什麼大學評審委員如此看重大學申請題?答案是因為個人陳述能夠透過三個想法精準地將你跟同儕們區別開來。

1. 展現自己的個性

大學評審委員們會根據您的成績單和GPA來衡量您的學術能力。同時透過推薦信得知他人如何看待你以及你如何與他人互動。

另一方面,你的個人陳述申請文件讓評審委員了解您的個性,也能展示你將如何適應社會和對於學校的貢獻。

 你是否專注於並擁有很多專業經驗和計劃來支持它? 還是對於廣泛的事物充滿好奇心? 你的動機與實現具體目標有關,還是本質上更具個人色彩或情感色彩?與世界互動的模樣正是你的個人陳述文章所應展現的。

以書面成績來判斷的話,你的SAT成績,GPA和課外活動表現可能與他人相似,你們可能申請同一個大學科系,但是評審委員們知道沒有任何申請者會是一模一樣的,重要的是兩者都能各自符合學校的要求。

2. 解釋不理想的紀錄

你的成績是否曾經遊走及格邊緣?你曾經被當掉過嗎?這些事蹟在書面備審資料上看起來非常顯眼,大學評審委員都希望了解異常紀錄的主要原因,以及最重要的是,你怎麼看待這些?

隨著世界走向全球化和意識到社會的差距,”傳統成功”的定義變得越來越模糊,美國大學已經針對貧困學生的多元化和包容性擬定標準計畫

 最重要的是,大學希望知道你是如何面對和克服困難的局面。這才是他們想要的人才!

3. 闡述您申請此大學的動機

除了展現個人魅力和解釋備審資料的瑕疵之外,一篇成功的留學申請文章也會包括申請該所大學的原因,這個理由淺顯易懂不需要我們多做解釋,但是許多同學如同寫求職履歷一樣,專注於推銷自己,完全遺忘最重要的根本-為什麼要申請該所大學。

 那麼,該如何解釋為什麼要申請該所大學呢? 

  • 找到該所大學吸引你的原因,解釋這與你的個人目標和個性有什麼關聯。
  • 分析學校獨有的特色,可以是教授,課程或是校內設備。

 3解放你的創造力,留學申請題是你畫布。

參考出色的個人陳述(Personal Statement)範例

我們都知道個人陳述的重要性和作用,那麼第一步要確認什麼呢?

模仿成功範例 

在Wordvice,我們鼓勵大學申請者查看成功的個人陳述範例,以真正吸收和洞悉有吸引力的留學申請文章是什麼。 盡可能地多閱讀,因為沒有兩個學生是一模一樣的。但是您會看到很多主題一次又一次的在成功的個人陳述中被討論。

 

出色的個人陳述(Personal Statement)範例

首先,Wordvice提供了兩篇成功的個人陳述範例,內文包含了編輯提供給學生的評論和反饋。這兩篇文章都是由Wordvice英美專業編輯團隊的編輯老師修改的,也恭喜兩篇個人陳述的作者都成功被錄取了。

 

範文1:Holistic Profile

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my interest in studying at the University of ________ as a Supply Chain Management student. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my letter.

I am currently studying for a bachelor’s degree in Public Finance and Supply Chain Management at ________ University. I have decided to apply to your Supply Chain Management programme because I am sure it would strongly enrich my future studies and help me in my prospective career. Moreover, I consider this programme as a great opportunity to get to know ________ culture and its well-developed logistic background. I am also very curious about the different approaches taken in this field at a prominent university.

I have chosen to apply to the University of________ because it examines all types of supply chain management perspectives, from production to services. During my previous studies, I discovered that simply working on procurement is far from enough. My fellow students and I had the opportunity to create an e-commerce project. At the time, the only thing in our control was the procurement decision, but I soon realized I had the capacity and drive to learn more about solutions and innovations.

Another reason I am applying for this programme at ________ is its close relationship with relevant companies in my desired field. I learned on the university’s website that there is a specific resource that helps to connect students with these companies. Since I am interested in working in the Netherlands after I graduate, this resource will definitely be useful for my career. In addition, the fact that this programme offers an option to participate in an apprenticeship is very appealing to me. This could not only broaden my horizons through practical experience but also provide a chance for me to expand my connections in the industry.

My current undergraduate studies make me highly suitable for this programme. I have learned the basic foundations of supply chain management through courses such as operations management, strategic purchasing, and inventory management. I have also taken mathematics and statistics to help me understand data problems.

In addition to my academic interests, I have a full and interesting life off-campus. I was a member of our school volleyball team, which won several championships; this led to me graduating as an honour’s student. Those times spent on the court have strengthened my team spirit and my ability to work under pressure. During summer vacations, I spend time travelling around Europe and the United States. My first experience in Amsterdam was unforgettable, and it made me consider coming back in the future. Planning the trip carefully, and living alone in an unfamiliar area, have turned me into a more independent young woman.

Professionally, I have done internships in international companies such as Red Bull and ASUS. These experiences gave me the chance to work in a global context with people from different countries, which has encouraged me to have a more flexible and adaptive mindset. Because of these wonderful experiences, I am certain I will conquer all future challenges and make the most out of them.

In conclusion, I am very eager to study Supply Chain Management at the University of ________, as it would give me a chance to deepen my skills and knowledge in one of the field’s top universities. I am confident I excel in this programme due to my solid educational foundation in business and personality strengths.

Thank you again for reading my personal statement. I look forward to hearing from you.

一起來看看為什麼上文的個人陳述被選為成功範文:

1. 組織架構良好,清楚回答主題

申請人清楚地列出了她的教育和專業背景以及擁有的技能。她還提供了兩段完整的段落,列出為什麼選擇此課程,並隨後解釋了為什麼她既有資格又非常完美適合該課程。這篇文章展示了出色的組織能力,並且如同英語母語者般的優秀寫作,能夠自然流暢地表明想法。

2. 個人的故事卻不會像履歷乏味

該申請人具有非常優秀的學術和專業背景。紮實地將自己所學和專業領域做結合,她不僅僅在該領域實習,她能夠將學習到的數學經驗與個人動機連結起來,甚至是提及她的社團活動,以表明她不僅僅是個懂數字的學生,也活躍於課外活動。

 這顯示了兩件事。首先,她是一個全方位發展良好,而不僅僅是一個只在乎學習成績的學生。其次,她充分了解個人的特質,因此選擇了這個特定且適合自己的課程。最後,確保你的大學申請題能傳達這一點!

 3. 針對專門的學校和科系客製化寫出個人陳述

每所大學都有商學院,每個商學院都有供應鏈管理課程。 大學評審委員該如何藉由閱讀她的個人陳述,了解她申請此學校和科系的動機呢?

申請人清楚地說明了她個人想進入荷蘭這所大學的決心。她列出了她的個人旅行經歷,並具體描述藉由學校課程能夠如何幫助她實現她的計畫。

 

範文2: “Enthusiastic Achiever”

I am passionate about computers because technology will continue to play a fundamental role in our lives. Based on this fact, I researched colleges that have both a strong computer science program and co-op program, and this is when I found Hofstra. I visited the campus for a tour and was really impressed with what I saw. Not only are the campus facilities top-notch, but the advanced computer science labs are world class. This shows Hofstra’s focus to be able to provide the best intellectual and technical resources for students. I asked my tour guide about the class sizes and curriculum style. I was thrilled when he told me that average class sizes are in the 20s and that the curriculum emphasizes experiential learning.  

I am looking for more than just academic excellence; extracurricular activities, including community service opportunities, are also very important to me. In researching schools that would provide students with the most well-rounded lifestyles, I was amazed to see the number of philanthropic events that the school hosts and supports. Philanthropy seems ingrained in the school’s culture. I also saw hundreds of clubs that can cater to everyone’s unique interests. Students are also welcome to start new clubs if no existing clubs can foster their interests.

The energy on campus is something that I noticed right away. Both the students and staff show a lot of pride for Hofstra, and it’s truly memorable how enthusiastic the school spirit is among students. Leaving home to attend college is a big change for everyone, and I think school pride and a strong sense of community will help me make a smooth transition. I was very happy to hear that students get two tickets to events on campus. This is especially great because I am a sports fan and would love to experience the electric game day atmosphere of a division one basketball game and cheer on the Lions! 

Hofstra’s location is also ideal because it has the advantages of being in a smaller town but also being very close to New York City. I do not want to attend college in a big city, but the fact that New York city is so close opens up a lot of opportunities. First off, there are numerous internships at top companies in the city. In addition, it would be great to visit the city from time to time and see a show or sports game. Being able to do that with friends would give me great experiences and memories.  

Hofstra is my top choice because it fulfills my most important criteria: esteemed faculty members, a strong computer science program, a strong sense of belonging, amazing internship and community service opportunities, and a diverse campus. I cannot wait to be a Hofstra Lion!

一起來看看為什麼上文的個人陳述被選為成功範文:

1. 簡單明瞭,且在字數限制內

這篇文章約有461個單字,非常完美的低於許多大學錄取申請題的500個單字的限制。 儘管內容是主要重點,但是您的個人陳述必須遵守留學文章中列出的所有規則。 其中包括最平凡但不可或缺的-字數限制。

2. 提到學校各個面向並列出賣點

該學生將霍夫斯特拉大學(Hofstra University)的地理位置,學科,運動,課外活動,甚至是慈善活動。這名學生不只是將宣傳手冊上的特點列出,也將每個賣點與自身經驗和情感相互結合。這是一篇每個學生都嚮往寫出的留學申請文件。

 4

Wordvice能將你的留學申請文件修改得更流暢且有組織性

 

如果你問,兩篇留學申請題的成功關鍵是什麼?

留學文件英文編修服務

 儘管大學是影響未來社會生活和就職一大重要因素,仍看到有些學生寫出的個人陳述(Personal Statement)和留學申請題(Admissions Essay)缺乏組織架構,毫無邏輯可言,找不到重點。這就是為什麼像是Wordvice這樣的英文編修公司需要存在,我們提供專業的留學文件編修服務,能夠幫助您提升您的個人陳述和留學申請題的英文品質。

相關文章:海外留學申請書需要編修的理由為何?

1. 我們能幫助你挑出遺漏的錯誤

大學入學評審委員每年必須淘汰一定數量的申請者,我們保證,如果你的文件有任何語法或是拼寫錯誤,前方是淘汰堆,慢走不送。

 人們都需要一些自我意識和經驗來判斷何時需要他人的幫助,無論是多麼優秀的人要完美擁有這樣的認知是非常不容易的。

 我們的大腦難以控制自己的偏見,在撰寫個人陳述時,要客觀地服評審委員也是一個主要的問題。

2. 節省寶貴的時間

根據大學諮詢服務機構統計表示,每位申請人平均申請5.9所學校。當然,學生都會希望自己能進去一所好的大學,可惜的是時間不夠,而我們也無法用金錢買到時間。

 Wordvice留學文件英文修改服務幫助你節省時間,因此你擁有更多的時間可以做更重要的事情-申請大學。

3. 提高你的溝通能力

無論是ESL學生還是英語母語者,每個人都可以藉由英語編修服務提高自己的寫作水平。 就大學申請題而言,有沒有經過英文修改,這可能意味著進入夢想中的第一志願與第二志願之間的區別。 此外,編輯還能解決語法和基本錯誤,甚至是提升文章流暢度和可讀性,使文章與你的目標(學術或留學方面)相符。

如果你正在撰寫個人陳述或大學申請題,你會需要在大學申請領域俱有審閱和編輯相關文件經驗豐富的編輯者。

 

此外:對於留學申請還有其他疑問嗎?

我們希望這篇文章提供的成功個人陳述範例能帶給你幫助,那下一步呢?

我想知道更多關於大學申請過程  

想知道更多關於留學申請的秘訣嗎?無論是個人陳述或是推薦信都可以參考Wordvice留學部落格。

我對個人陳述的專業英文編修感興趣

如果對留學文件英文編修感興趣的話,歡迎參考留學文件編修服務留學文件深度修改服務,你能從中得到你要的幫助。

我已經準備我要提升我的留學文章了!

歡迎參考我們的價目表挑選期望返件的時間和FAQ頁面查看更多資訊,或是直接進入訂單列表開始下單。

 

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